~*~Nikki~*~ (chickiebabie) wrote,
~*~Nikki~*~
chickiebabie

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That is OH SO intresting

So basically this day was just anoyingly lame. Although the weather was nice and cloudy and it rained this morning which was a little bit of a pleasant change.

This day dragged and it seemed as the hours passed I just became more depressingly pessimistic. Then when Manda dropped me off at home we sat in her car for 2 hours discussing the finer and lower points of sex and boyfriends and everyhting in the whole situation. I told her all of my doubts and feeling and with my pessimisticness and her optimism we got absolutely no where. And I am no more at peace with myself than I was before. But it was very nice to have someone to talk to and it seems as though at least once a month we have one of those weird spill-all conversations. Its nice, in some way.

Ever since I quit smoking I have gained a lot of weight and all I do anymore is eat. It sucks and makes me want to start again but, I dont want to end up totally fucked in the ass when Im older. But I dont plan on living long enough to feel the consequences.

Have you noticed everyday I write the exact same thing I did yesterday... my life is that repetitive.

I found out that my "raver birthday" which is the anniversary on your first rave [ie; my first rave was Return to Candyland-last april and Candyland 3 is on april first] is comming up soon. So I have to go, even though I promised that I would only go to massives and I am living on an extremely tight budget. So that was basically the highlight of my day. All I want right now is to sleep. Im so lazy and fat and pathetic.

Today I quoted ESotSM.

I'm just a fucked up girl looking for a peace of mind

It fit with my mood.
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hihi.
we can be fatty eaters together! I mean, fatties who eat too much, not... people who eat fatties. ohm. Also lazy.
I'm really sorry about your grandma. I can't even imagine how hard that is. Right now I'm kind of going through the same mindset? About my grandma, I mean, just preparing for the worst. It's horrible, it shouldn't have to happen. I'd like to talk to you about it but livejournal comments seem so... the opposite of personal. Regardless, if you need me, you know where I am.

You work all weekend[s], right?
I know. I know I know.

Yes I do work all weekends. But every once in a great while I can find someone to work for me, and thats just about the only break I can get. lol.
This weekend I really wanted to run away to the beach, even if it wasn't beach weather or anything. Eh, some other time I guess. Bad planning, and everything. :/