So obviously i snapped. The PPD finally got to me. With all of the busyness of the holidays and my own life as basically a single parent i just snapped. Bared my soul to my husband and asked him to quit his job. He did and he helped me thru my darkness. Soon after i started picking up the peices and get my life somewhat working. It is still a day by day situation but my mind is clearer and im keeping myself busy without it being overwhelming. I take time when i can to myself. It isnt often but im trying to surround myself with positive things and people.
Currently i have made it a mission to find the things i dont like about my life. After much soul searching i found it boils down to this shit whole of a town. I want freedom for my family to grow. i need distance from my in laws not only because i dont need parental input on every detail of my life but mostly because its hard to be myself when i really want them to like me. Also i want to exercise and run and let my boys play outside and in this ghetto it isnt safe enough for me to feel confortable by myself. So basically. I want to move. That is my mission. To baby-step my way into a home. Meeting with the bank tomorrow. Step number one.